Week Two : How do we do?
Good Morning good people. Hope the sleep was good, the coffee was hot, and the children/women were all quiet and palatable this morning. We are done with week two. Officially 12% of the way through the fantasy season. Let us rejoice, since we are only like 9% of the way through the actual football season. I think.. I don't know, I am only good at math when I am figuring out how many minutes I have left of work, or I am chasing a spread. Today's Hoff's Hot Takes are brought to you by The Episode of Paw Patrol where Mayor Goodway needs Marshall's help, Vodka sauce, and Tangerine Cookies... Also, unrelated to the last sponsor, but go listen to Morning Dew from Europe 78.
Week 2 Recap
Mike vs. Nick - Preseason title game favorite Nick keeps on rolling like REO Speedwagon. Being the BIG J that I am, I went and spoke with Nick about his great start. "Everyone dissing the Hock pick in the 3rd. It was my last open position, and it was my last pick until round 6."... Sounds like a desperate, desperate man.
Jordan vs. Beej - Brother Beej keeping up the hustle here. Kyler Murray and Tyler Lockett scored a combined 80 points to push him past Jordan. Jordan goes to 1-1. Jordan did not have a guy above 16.6 points. Adam Schefter reports that Jordan had a closed door meeting with his team, and they are going to turn it around this week.
Tidwell vs. Kyle - Kyle wins by almost triple digits here. Turns out when Derrick Henry scores 50 points, Kyle's team is pretty good...Tidwell, more to come from him later, drops to 0-2
Beaudette vs. Joe - Joe moves to 0-2, he has not sent the "FIRESALE" email that Mike did, so maybe he is still in it... Kevin with a ho hum game, nobody went crazy, but just a bunch of solid games to will his team to victory.
Micah vs. George - Micah gets a win, but George gets a point still. George 162 to 130. Game with the most of the points. Micah had Darren Waller with 9 points, but nobody else was under 15. Micah had five guys over 20 points. Georgie Boy - hang in there.
JB vs. Nolan - Great job waking up the boys after week one, JB.
King of the Hill - Steven "Flow" Tidwell is out of our annual King of the Hill competition this week. Tidwell saw Micah put up 81 last week and said " hey pal - why should you have all the fun?". Tidwell promptly went out and scored 65. Way to show him, Steve... STILL IN CONTENTION : Joe, Jordan, BJ, JB, Nick, Mike, Kevin, Nick, George, and Nolan.
NFL Best Bets for Week 3 - Bills and Cardinals ML parlay (-162)... Bears +7. DA BEARS
Weekend Preview - Changing it from college football to give a little shoutout to the Ryder Cup. Whistling Straits. Wisconsin. This is gonna be a fun tournament this time around. Cool course. Heard we may have a crew going to scout the course for a possible trip next summer. As for college football - ND and Wisconsin at Soldier Field - Nice little half way game. Texas AM and Arkansas is the game of the afternoon if you'd like to watch. Nothing really good at night, to be honest.
HOFF'S HOT TAKES INTERVIEW OF THE WEEK - Today's Question - You have to give up rooting for Chicago sports and choose a replacement team, but that replacement team has to be named after a bird. What team you go for :
Malzow - That is no problem. So long as I can take a hornet as a bird, I'll take the Charlotte Hornets. (Editors Note - Bill, WTF. In what god dam world is a hornet a bird.... I mean seriously, I get that your a few Heinekens short of a 6 pack ,but come on. Congrats to Joe - your 190 pound tiger answer has now been replaced as the funniest response I've ever gotten)
Nolan - 2 options here -Arizona Cardinals (Chicago ties to their beginnings), or St Louis Cardinals - root against the Cubs, and baseball season is longer than NFL, so more games to watch. (Editors Note - this answer triggered me a bit)
Jet Jackson - I will say the Toronto Blue Jays - I like the city of Toronto, and they have awesome hats.
Furlong - Liverpool FC (LIVAAAPOOOOOO)
Beej - Ducks
Kyle - Arizona Cardinals - distant last tie would be the Orioles or Cardinals. The Baltimore Orioles have disrespected a noble bird.
Playoff Standings - BJ, Kyle, Nick, John, George, Micah
Hoff's Hot Takes Power Rankings - Nick, John, Beej, Micah, Kyle, Jordan
Do what you can with you got. Peace.