2023 Player Haters Ball and NFL Draft
Hello and welcome to Hoff's Hot Takes. We have our first football Takes of 2023. Feels good, eh? We are done with the draft, and we are done with Free Agency. We will do a bit of a review of the offseason and draft, and look ahead to the Player Haters Ball Draft coming up in about 3 and a half months. It will be here before you know it fellas. Today's Takes are brought to you by Reddit, The all new Ford Focus, and Jellybeans. We look at the draft, the draftboard, a top 24 players, and some rankings. Let's ride !
NFL Draft - Running Diary for the first 6 picks. All good draft recaps only go over the first 6 picks...
1) Carolina Panthers - Panthers got here by trading the Bears a bunch of picks... And DJ Moore, who is a favorite of this author (maybe a spoiler alert for August). Panthers pick Bryce Young 1st overall. Bryce is a QB from Alabama. I would like to take this thing they call the S-2 Cognitive test. I bet i would kill it. I took the Wonderlic but would like to see this S2 thing. I bet it is all BS. Bryce Young, Miles Sanders, and not much else, eh? If he is good, he would legit be the smallest QB to ever be good in the NFL. That is legit not hyperbole.
2) Houston Texans - What a loser organization. They had D Hopkins and JJ Watt - and they still sucked. This is the unfortunate time when i point out that Chris Mortenson sounds like my grandpa after discussing politics and a Louis Berrones reelection campaign. "He has not done anything to lose it - Good man" - Alex Rafferty III. Anyways, Houston selects CJ Stroud. QB from Ohio State. BUST. Bust city. History of 2nd best QB's aren't great. Like legit Jared Goff may be the best. I will take a bet on my car (we bettin for pinks like Fast and Furious GIovanni Ribisi) he will not be good.
3) Arizona Cardinals -> HOUSTON TRADES BACK UP TO 3!!!! ADAM SCHEFTER JUST FUCKING JIZZED ON CAMERA! NICK SABAN LOOKS AMAZING IN THAT PINK! Will Anderson Jr. from Alabama. OLB. What a bunch of good moves by the Texans here, I think.
4) Indianapolis Colts - That was nuts, right? Well let's go, Colts? You think there are tight buttholes here? ANTHONY RICHARDSON FROM FLORIDA! Anthony Richardson is a QB from Florida. This is going to end the parade of washed-up dudes a bit southeast from Chicago, but I bet this is a poor man's Lamar. Or a Rich Mans Sam Darnold - Cross Comparisions (TM)
5) Seattle Seahawks - The Seattle Seahawks select Devon Witherspoon. CB from the University of Illinois. This dude is good. Great pick. I have been to U of I three times lately -> Abby's brother's graduation with a PHD, U of I Football game against Purdue, and Scott Passolt breaking up with Tynan Kraft. We went to Joe's on Weeds. It was fun. That also was 2010...Anyways, good pick. Lets see if they trade up to get Levis.
6) Detroit Lions - LIONS TRADE TO THE CARDINALS -> Started at 3 and traded back to 6. Got an extra 2 picks in the future. I like this for them. Arizona Cardinals select Paris Johnson Jr. Ohio State OT. Mel Kiper says he is unfinished product, so I will refuse to give judgement.
Draft Notes from the other 200 or so picks - Falcons take Bijan Robinson at 8. This leads to Jordan's Tyler Algier to having no trade value at all. Robinson should be the number one pick this August, by Jordan or someone else...Lions did something weird with drafting Gibbs. It lead to a chain reaction of DeAndre Swift being the lead back on the Eagles, and David Montgomery's stock plummeting. Gibbs should be the #2 pick in the draft this August... Jaxon Smith Njigba goes to Seattle, and now Seattle has Metcalf, Lockett, and JSN to throw to. Geno may be good this upcoming season boys... Chargers and Vikings get WR to bolster their high powered offenses... Lamar gets Zay Flowers, and I am almost considering putting him in the first round to be picked as a dynasty rookie. Dude is good... Michael Meyer should be elite for the Raiders and Jimmy G. Should be a stud for years to come. Would not be surprised if he got kept in the 2024 season.... Seattle took like the third best RB in the class in the 2nd round, so I do not know what that means for Kenneth Walker. Could be nothing, but it could be an issue moving forward for him. Micah for a 4th may be dicey...
Fantasy Pro's Top 24 Players for 2024 (Rankings checked 5/9 @ 10:00AM)
1) Christian McCaffrey - JB in the 2nd.
2) Johnathon Taylor - Nick in the 16th.
3) Bijan Robinson - Future first overall selection most likely. Best rookie back since Saquon. Best Available player
4) Austin Ekeler - 2nd best RB available. 2nd Overall best player.
5) Saquon Barkley - Steve in the 16th.
6) Josh Jacobs - 3rd best RB available, and 3rd best overall
7) Tony Pollard - Kyle can keep in the 4th. He has Henry and Breece Hall for similar value, so Kyle will need to do some shaking and moving here.
8) Nick Chubb - Mike in the 6th.
9) Derrick Henry - Kyle in the 4th.
10) Justin Jefferson - Best player in fantasy. Nolan in the 7th.
11) Travis Kelce - TE! Best TE available, 4th best overall.
12) JaMarr Chase - George in the 6th
13) Travis Etienne Jr. - Joe in the 10th.
14) Cooper Kupp - First WR available. 5th best player overall
15) Tyreek Hill - 2nd WR available. 6th best player overall.
16) Davante Adams - 3rd WR available. 7th best player overall.
17) Breece Hall - Kyle in the 3rd.
18) Stefon Diggs - 4th WR available. 8th best player overall.
19) CeeDee Lamb - Joe can keep in the third. Steep price, but he would be a first-round pick if thrown back.
20) AJ Brown - 5th WR available. 9th best player overall
21) Kenneth Walker III - Micah in the 4th.
22) Najaee Harris - Tidwell in the 16th.
23) Jaylen Waddle - Jordan in the 6th.
24) Rhomandrae Stevenson - 4th best RB available. 10th best player overall.
Hoff's Hot Takes Top 24 100% Available -
Bijan Robinson. Jahmyr Gibbs, Travis Kelce, Austin Ekeler, Tyreek Hill, Josh Jacobs, Cooper Kupp, AJ Brown, Stefon Diggs, Rhomandre Stevenson, Davante Adams, Anthony Richardson, Mark Andrews, Dalvin Cook, Joe Mixon, Patrick Mahomes, George Kittle, Jalen Hurts, Josh Allen, Aaron Jones, Aman Ra St. Brown, Tee Higgins, Calvin Ridley, Miles Sanders
Draft Board Observations - Peter has picks 3 and 6 overall. He also has his full draft board available to him to move around. He could go for a big boy team this season, or sell to be good for awhile... On that same token we got JB. John has an extra second this season, but 2024 he has an extra 1,2, and 6 already. I see JB selling a bit and rolling it over to next season to be uber good. Just give up this season John... Gaza's board looks likes this : 1,1,2,3,3,4. With his good keepers, he should be competitive. Kyle may need to do some trading to keep his sick runningback groups. If he does this, he will throw Drake London back forever... Nick has an extra 1st, 3rd, and 4th at his disposal. He will be someone to watch this summer on the trade front....Beej has an extra 3rd, 4th, and 10th.