May 23rd, 2023
Hello and welcome to Hoff's Hot Takes. We are watching the Celtics and Heat game here and writing some good ol fashioned Takes. Hope all who celebrated enjoyed their weekend. We got thousands of words to get to so lets to typing. Tonight's Takes are paid for by Titleist, Ogio Backpacks, and Truly Blueberries. Here is a blazing hot start to the Takes -> Something happened this week that has not been done since Ron Gant. Actually, I lied, that is not true... I just heard it is nice to get a hook for the reader and I know the name Ron Gant got it going for ya. Let us start with a five OF Primes to get our Takes going. Tons of Hall of Good guys here. We always speak about these guys so glowingly, so I wanna see how they hold up. All numbers are per 162. Also, I wanna start a club that is the 30 doubles, 30 homers, 30 steals. I think that is a good barometer. No pressue. Get it? Anyway, he is a cocaine fueled live performance of Rock and Roll Part 2 by Gary Glitter
Ron Gant - (1990-1994 with ATL, and 1995 with CIN) .273 average with 32 HR, 30 2B, and 32 SB. 104 RBI. 3 top 12 MVP finishes.
Ray Lankford - (1992-2000 with the Cardinals) 26 HR, 27 2B, 26 SB with an OPS of .375. Over 100 runs per year. Lotta feet touching the 'ol Pentagon. This does not include a 15 triple season in 1991 as a rookie, when he finished 3rd in ROY to Orlando Merced, and a guy named Jeff Bagwell.
Brian Jordan - (1993-1998 with STL) Man, him and Ray in the same OF for the 90s must have been huge towards a bunch of World Series wins... Jordan averaged 22 HR, 23 SB, 31 2B, and batted .299. He gets extra points for not starting baseball util later because he was playing DB for the Falcons. He has like 4 or 5 INTs in his NFL career. He was voted to the 1991 Pro Bowl as an alternate. So he was a pro bowl safety, and then just was a 20/20 OF for 7 years lol.
Justin Morneau - (2006-2014 with the Twins and Rockies) - batted .288 over that time, but had seasons of .321, .345, and .319 in there. Had an MVP, an MVP runner up, and averaged like 27 and 100 each season.
David Justice - (1990-2000 with NYY, ATL, and CLE) He had four top 12 MVP finishes. Batted .290 with 33/110 with 28 2B during that time. 3 All Stars, but only batted .225 in over 100 games in the playoffs...
Chicago Ball Update - Instead of a Chicago Ball update, I will give you an answer that has been gnawing at my craw the last few weeks. I am not throing shade, but I asked Star for an interview a few weeks ago. I did not get a respone. Trust me, I do not want to seem annoyed because I get that life is insane. No hard feelings what so ever. But one of the questions was "give me an all Chicago team with a lineup since the year 2000". I have been thinking about this for a minute, so let us actually get to the answer. Star will provide some more color during the coming weeks, so I feel okay with not including him in this. Do not you worry, he will be doing every interview from here on out. Anyways, here is my Lineup:
Staff: Chris Sale, Carlos Zambrano, Kerry Wood, Mark Prior, Mark Buehrle
Bullpen: Big Bobby Jenks, Carlos Marmol, Liam Hendricks
Catcher: Slick Willy Contrares
1B: Toss between Rizzo, and Jose Abreau. I will give it to 2014 or 2020 Jose. Rizzo had a better career, but Jose is so good as a hitter.
2B: 2016 Javier Baez
3B: 2004 or 2007 Aramis Ramirez
SS: 2021/2022 Tim Anderson
OF: 2023 Luis Robert is pushing for a spot. We got Sammy Sosa, Carlos Lee, Alfonso Soriano, Magglio Ordonez, Jarmaine Dye, Juan Pierre, Kyle Schwarber, Give me 2016-2018 Schwarber, 2005 Dye, and 1999 Ordonez.
DH: Rizzo. Ill just make 2016 Rizzo the DH. Could have made Carlos Lee, or 2005 Derrick Lee here, but fuck it. Rizzo. I need Anthony R's leadership here.
Lineup: Schwarber, Anderson, Jose, Aramis, Ordonez, Dye, Rizzo, Willy, Baez
Dirty Diez Drama - Brey beats Jordan. This is not a Jordan blog, but if it was, it would be noted that this is the 3rd straight week he has had 7 in the win column going into a weekend and did not even win. I feel as if I need a closer - not in fantasy (although totally in fantasy), but more so I need a way to close out these wins. I had Framby and Wacha throw 17 scoreless, and I batted .300 on Sunday. I did not suck Saturday. I still ended up losing big. Send your offers with picks for my guys. Send them quickly. Star almost got it, but he did not quite get there. Brey batted over .300 in this matchup. Gausman is one of my favorite guys in the league. Like Brey as a Final 4 guy at this this point. Kloss vs Brey. Star vs. Micah. That is my call....Star beat Berry 6-5-1 this week. If you look at it, Star lost almost every pitching category, and Berry lost almost every hitting one. There is a world where Star goes 12-0 in this matchup, but that will never happen. There is also a world where Berry wins 8-4. AlBear has one of his non Alejandro Kirk Toronto Catchers bat 1/17. I am not good at math, but I assume that is bad. Wander Franco went 2/21. George Springer balled out. Geroge Springer trade time. Star had Ketel and Julio be good, and had Juan Soto bat 4/20 (hehe) but still had an OPS of .760... Mikey takes down Kloss 7-4-1. This may be Kloss' first loss of the season. You would think I know since I have been writing thousands of words for this shit, but I do not really look back on these that much. Anyways, Berrones had a team ERA of 2.20 this week, which is insane. WHIP under 1 too. Shane McClanahan, Max, and his relievers combined for 18 innings and 0 runs. Kloss is still my favorite, but we are starting to have some other guys bat their eye lashes at the 'ol duder here. Nolan and Kurgan tied 6-6. You know my rules boys. Let us move on... Joe beat Micah 7-4-1 this week. Joe had his lineup win most of his points and he is on a roll here. I just want to let you know that I appreciate that you tied in steals. It was really nice and heartwarming for you to tie and not have one another have that. Sharing is caring, and let me tell you - you guys care. Joe had Justin Turner go nuts this week. Here is my Turner power rankings : 1) Tina Turner. 2) Turner and Hooch. 3) Ted Turner. 4) Trea Turner. 5) Justin Turner. 6) Sophie Turner AKA Sansa Stark... Joe also had Yandy and Byron Buxton Mash Taters like my Irish Grandma... Micah - I wanna give a shoutout to Jack Flareity. So here it is. Time to move on from Dylan. Never trust a man named Dylan unless it is his last name and his first name is Bob. Or he is a runningback and his name is Corey.
Random Fun Things - Judge and Nola proved why they were high level picks this week. They both had monster weeks...Otani being 2nd in AL Ks and being the hitter he is is legit bonkers. There are those stats about he is 6 for 200 as a pitcher, and 7 for 300 as a hitter. How about we give him 10 for 550 and call it a day.... I think Stan Musial is the most underrated hitter of all time. He gets lost in the muck when speaking of the great batters ever.... As of 5/19, Pat Wisdom is 3rd in the NL in HR....Alex Cobb, and Bryce Elder were tied for the lowest ERA at 1.94 as of 5/18. RICH HILL STARTED A GAME FOR THE CUBS IN MAY OF 2005 AND FACED MIGUEL CABRERA OF THE MARLINS. RICH HILL ALSO STARTED A GAME IN MAY OF 2023, AND FACED MIGUEL CABRARA.
Hoff's Hot Takes Power Rankings - Kloss, Star, Mike, Bill, Joe, Micah
Playoff Standings - Kloss, Star, Bill, Joe, Mike, Micah