Hoff's Hot Takes:Week 4 Review

Hello and good morning!  Welcome to the week 4 recap of the Player Haters Ball.  Hoff's Hot Takes is here for you as the leaves fall and the weather turns.  Chili and apple cider donuts are around the corner, and Halloween season is upon us.  Halloween is not my favorite, but with a little Cookie Monster I think it may start to be more fun again.  Plus, snack size snickers are probably the most addictive thing in the world.  This week's Takes are brought to you by cinnamon in coffee, Department of Labor grant trainings, and Steely Dan.  We have a week 4 in PHB history today, our 1/3 season league recap, an interview with Mike,  game recaps and much more this week.

Nolan and Nick was the game of the week heading into last week, and you can't win them all folks, cause this game was gaaaaarbage.  Nick must have been fueled off the bulletin board material from last weeks takes.  Nolan joins Peter, and Joe as 2-2 teams that are real good. TJ Hockenson may be the real deal, but ultimately is a Detroit Lion, so ya know...

Tidwell vs Peter... What can you say that wasn't already said about Chernobyl? As of 7:08 CST Monday night, Dak Prescott and OBJ were outscoring Peter.  The annual Cousin bowl is a time honored tradition in our league,  and this year it goes to Tidwell.  Peter may have the best 2-2 team of all time, and don't look now, but Steve is 3-1. 

Of all the games this weekend, JB vs Mike surely was one of them. Mike started only Browns, Cowboys, and 5 fucking Chiefs.  As of 7:27PM CST he is playing 5 Chiefs and needs 13 points from them in the second half.  He should be getting it done.  MIke moves to 4-0, and JB falls into that group of 2-2 teams. 

Next up is our interview with Michael.  Mike has a solid team this season, and is due for a big run in the postseason.  Mike is a pending parent, and a solid citizen representing The Worth to its fullest.  Let's hear his thoughts on some stuff. 

Question 1: A company comes along that offers sightseeing tours, but via time travel, so you can pick the time as well.  Where do you go?

Mike:  My first thought was to when Jesus was a teen and see what the big deal was there in those lost years...Or when he was turning water into wine, not because im super religious or anything, but mostly to fact check my insane evangelical aunt who has told me i'm going to hell... I would probably chose going to see the Aztecs.  I have that warrior blood pumping through me and I want to see what they are all about.  Id warn them of Europeans and their dirty ways.

Question 2: Fill in the blank : When it is all said and done, Russell Wilson will be a top _____ QB of all time

Mike: 15, but only because people look at old QB's with rose tinted glasses.  Terry Bradshaw is in the hall of fame and barely threw more TD than picks.  He is a glorified Rex Grossman.  If based solely on stats, id probably say top 7, but in pundits rank those old guys like Unitas way too high.

Question 3: How many current Mikes would it take to get a clean pin on Brock Lesnar.  Not a WWF pin, but a shoot wrestling/olympic style legit wrestling pin.

Mike: It would take  between 10-15 current Mikes.  He had to cut weight to be in the heavyweight division in UFC and is pure stone muscle.  I am not pure muscle and weigh less than half of what he does. 

Question 4: What is your favorite green from the pantone guide below?

Mike: PMS 350.

Question 5: Make a 4 person boy band out of the Player Haters Ball.

Mike:  I'll be the bad boy.  Heartthrob would be Kyle due to his piercing blue eyes.  I have also seen him in a way too small under armour shirt and he looked Rock like.  Jordan or BJ would be the great dancer who sings backup.  Peter would be the lead singer who thinks he could go solo but cant because we are for sure locked in a predatory contract.

Joe beats up on Micah this weekend to bounce back to .500 at 2-2.  Joe becomes the first player this season to start 3 guys over 35 points in his lineup.  Joe is right in the middle of a tough stretch, and his next three games are Peter, JB, and Tidwell, so this next month will be huge for him.  Micah has to love the good vibes Kenny G is bringing to his receiving corps....  Jordan vs Beej went into Monday, but it was over quick, as Beej scores 105 points to move up to the 2-2 group.  Sources are saying that with one more loss, Jordan is going to go full sell on Aaron Jones and his WRs. If Beej holds on for the next couple weeks, we could be talking playoffs with a team who will peak late... Kyle takes down George, who had a late Monday run with Ryan and Gurley.  George and Kyle both move to 1-3, needing wins to climb back up the standings.

Ups and Downs from Week 4 : Tom Brady had 32 points in the second half alone this week.... Joe Mixon had his best fantasy game of all time on Sunday... Chubb a dub dub tore his knee up pass bocking against Dallas, but Mike has Kareem Hunt. Hunt basically is averaging a fantasy point per snap.... Austin Eckler had to get carted off, so look for Joshua Kelley to be getting some carries.

Our 1/3 season review:  JB losing McCaffrey seemed to be a doom and gloom situation, but Mike Davis has stepped in nicely in Run CMC's absence.  JB should be getting McCaffrey back looking to hunt for a playoff spot....Dak is on pace through 4 games to throw for 6,760 yards....Russell WIlson is on pace for 48 TD and 7 INT....Josh Allen is on pace for 12 rushing TD and 48 passing TD...Alvin Kamara is on pace for 2300 yards and 28 TD, and would be ranked about WR 10 with only his reciving...Jordan has the high point total with 193, and Micah has the low point total of 63...Tidwell has yet to have a game with a point spread less than 50...Gotta give Mike the stretch of the 1/3 mark going 3-0 against Peter, Joe, and John in weeks 2,3,and 4...

This week in Player Haters Ball History :  This week we are looking at Week 4 of 2012.  BJ and his team "Tight Buttholes" led the way with 170 points.  Beej would ultimately lose in the first round that season to Nolan's "Robing Pterodactyls" team.  Nolans team that year had Jamaal Charles, Arian Foster, and Ray Rice.  Good little trio there. The division that Beej was in that year was called "Three slippery cunts".  Berrones and Peter lost badly, setting the pace for their eventual 2-11 season.  Mike had Cam Newton and Colin Kaepernick on his team that week, so he must love showboating and hating America. Jordan won and was in first place all season that year until JB beat him in the infamous Seattle vs San Francisco Sunday Night Football disaster.

King of the Hill - Peter is the low man this week who has not been eliminated with 90 points, edging out Nolan by 1.6 points. ELIMINATED - Micah, Kyle, Jordan, Peter. STILL ALIVE - JB, Nick, Nolan, BJ, Mike,

Season Standings: Nick, Mike, Tidwell, Peter, Joe, Nolan

Hoff's Hot Takes Power Rankings: Nick, Joe, Mike, Peter, Tidwell, Nolan.

Week 5 predictions: Jordan. Tidwell. Peter. Nick. John. Mike.

Record picking games: 14-10

Jah Bless. Peace.