Hoff's Hot Takes Week 2 review
Hello and welcome to another rousing addition of Hoff's Hot Takes. This weeks Takes are brought to you by broccoli cheddar soup, The Beastie Boys, and Sophie the Giraffe. Shouts to Sophie. The real ones know. As usual, some stats, game recaps, previews, an interview with Mike, and much, much more. While we are here, I figured I would give a shoutout to Micah. Congrats on the nuptials. Good times and tons of chatter dominated the evening.
Don't look now, but ol' "Dr. Poop" Kyle Stone is 2-0. Lamar Jackson is the best fantasy player so far this season. Henry Connor AP all had TDs and Ross III, Deebo, and McLaurin are good? hmm.. Beej,. Jameis could turn it around. He could torch the Giants maybe.. BRIEDA!
In the best matchup of the day, George beats Tidwell. Love me some Cooper Kupp. Watch out for Mark Andrew trades for teams who have shitty TE play. To be honest, I have nothing of note for George. He is just good. Scandinavia Steve is the same way too. Tidwell has to be eating Smorbrod and just enjoying his team. Bell is third all time in games with 20 carries and 10 catches. Steve scored 124 with a zero so good on ya.
Here is our interview with Mike. Mike descends from a long(?) line of people from Wadsworth, is a season ticket holder to your Chicago Cubs, and is currently sitting in second place behind the arm of Patty Mahomes. Lets hear some of Miggy's thoughts on things.
Jordan: Who has the best mustache of all time?
Mike: Freddy Mercury
Jordan: If you had to move from the city of Chicago, where would you preferably move to?
Mike: I think I would enjoy Seattle a lot. Good music, and food scenes.
Jordan: What is your favorite game show?
Mike: Favorite game show is easily Family Feud. Steve gets to be in his element and ham it up. If singing shows count, I got really into The Masked Singer with Jill. T-Pain without autotuned has straight fire pipes. I know Nolan agrees with that comment. That's not even a hot take, watch his tiny desk concert on NPR (again, thanks Nolan)
(Editors Note : A quick run through of T-Pain's Wikipedia is gold. First of all, he has three children, names Lyriq, Muzyq , and Kaydnz. He held up production on a Lil' Kim music video for crashing his golf cart he was joyriding on set. He flew out the front and knocked all of his teeth out. He also cancelled 9 days before a concert at Tufts University saying "a personal obligation popped up". That personal obligation was his son's 9th bday. I mean, I am new to this parenthood thing, but I'm pretty sure birthdays don't pop up, its kind of a fixed date. He refused to go off stage at curfew in Miami because he hadn't played "Buy you a Drank" yet, so the cops came on stage and chased him off mid song, leading to a police chase. Apparently the T stands for Tallahassee, which is where he is from.)
Jordan: You are stranded on a desert island Tom Hanks in Castaway style for a month. What three items do you bring with you?
Mike: Leatherman multi tool, fish net, and nylon rope. Those items plus my Eagle Scout knowledge and I have it made in the shade
Jordan: Put these songs in order of you most liking to have them on repeat for the rest of your life : Summer Girls by LFO, All Star by Smashmouth, Mambo Number 5 by Lou Bega, and Blue by Eiflel 65
Mike: Summer Girls. All Star, Mambo #5, and Blue
Mike and Skip's Vascular Biceps ( thanks for participating Mike. Worth. Youre biceps are vascular too. Not to Skip levels, but ya know, respectable) took down Sling Blade this week by 20 points or so. Mahomes has 78 points in two weeks, and according to my calculations, that is pretty good. He did have a fumble this week though, so maybe Mike cuts him? Im not here to give advice, but I would cut him Mike...Chubb should start heating up here, and with Cooper, Edelman, Cooks, Michel, and a deep bench will be tough to beat most weeks. The floor is high, and with Mahomes, he is trouble. Micah has better days coming, and this week's loss is probably some sort of god given metaphor of being hungover on Sunday. I looked at my kitchen on Sunday and the following things were happening : indoor sunglasses, an exclamation about still being drunk, and there was someone sleeping.
Nolan loses to Joe in a matchup of probable playoff teams. Nolan should probably be looking to trade for Josh Allen, or pick up a QB, because Desean Watson is going to have to be stretchered off the field. They have given up 4-5 sacks a game for each of the last 9 games now! I feel that Hopkins, Kamara, and Evans all will not be held under 8 points again, so cheer up Bowlin Ass Nolan. Joe has gotta be happy with going with Dalvin Cook, who is a baller. He has to stay on the field, but he could finish top 3 at the position this year. Adams and Beckham will be a force in games, and combined for over 50 this week. Broseph also loses Guice until at least week 11, maybe more.
King of the Hill : Peter is the low man on the totem poll this week so he is eliminated like the Shoshone at Bear River in 1863. Extra points for Peter for going out on 69 points. Nice... Eliminated : Beej, Peter. In the hunt : Joe, Mike, Kyle, JB, Tidwell, Nick, Nolan, Jordan, Micah, George.
Who beat Peter this week? JB! JB started Cam, who this season has -2 total rushing yards. Not ideal. One week after calling McCaffrey "one of the 5 most reliable players in fantasy" he had 6 points. If I ever give you a gambling tip, maybe fade me? Eckler looks like a man, and continues to make Melvin Gordon look worse. OJ Howard has 3.2 points in his first two games this season, and Jameis does not look... look... he sucks.
PLAYOFF PICTURE
Playoff Standings : Joe Mike Kyle Tidwell John Jordan
ESPN Projections : Joe Tidwell Nolan Jordan Micah JB
Hoff's Hot Take Predictions : Joe Tidwell Jordan Nolan Mike JB
in week 3, I like Jordan Tidwell George Nolan Kyle and Micah. Give me Nolan for 3 points.
Record picking games : 4-8