Hoff's Hot Takes Pre Season Preview

Welcome to Hoff's Hot Takes Player Haters Ball Preview! Let's be honest - none of us remembers anything about other teams. Without further ado, here is your primer for the league. A little cliff notes of the draft, what has happened since, and look forward to week one. 

Miggy: If Mahomes is 75% as good as he was last year, he is still the number 3 QB, so even if he regresses, he is still #elite, just not godly. Chubb could be RB1 this season, and if you go back and look at it, the teams with the #1 RB in a season are in the playoffs 9 of 10 times. His WR are consistent, and if Sony Michel is good this team is a contender, especially with injuries to Aaron Jones, and Gurley. But careful Mike, as my friend Bodie once said "If you want the ultimate rush, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price"

Beej : Beej did a good job hosting the draft and came out of it doing a knock up job. He is a Miles Sanders guy now, having his third round rights, rookie keeper stylee. The strength of his team is his WR group of Theilen, Lockett, Woods, and Mike Williams. He locked up Murray rookie style, and the 49ers backfield, as well. He loves it when you call him Big Poppa.

George : Jorge has a solid team. Gurley and Carson are one solid starting running back pair. He has a deep WR core. He also has great hair, but thats off topic... Actually, you guys remember that video of yacht george with his hair flowing in the Grecian seas.. Gorgeous... anyways, Godwin, Boyd, Hilton, Kupp are all studs. Expect some trades from him, cause why not, ya know?

Kyle: Kyle has guys named Geronimo and Deebo, which alone makes him one of the cooler teams. Lamar Jackson will be fun to root for, and The Derrick Henry train rolls on for another season. James Connor is good, and hopefully this is the year Corey Davis is good. There are talks in Tennessee of Tannehill taking over, which is not ideal for any living soul except Ryan Tannehill.

Jordan : Sneaking up late, Jordan sniped David Montgomery at 11. His RB group isn't the best, but it is deep - Freeman, Lindsey, Montgomery, and now Devin Singletary. Julio, Keenan Allen, Kirk and JuJu are gonna catch some balls. Wilson should be okay I guess. Took a whole rookie bench. This doesn't scream Jordan destroying Tidwell in week one, getting really cocky/confident and then getting destroyed the next two weeks and me panic trading everything for Jahvid Best... no way that happens. P.S - Best had about 1,700 career yards. In the two games before I traded for him, he had 18% of his career totals.

HEY JOE : Joe wheeled and dealed to get himself picks 3,5,6,7, AND 8! This is unprecedented. Closest thing is Kyle starting the draft last season with 5 picks in the first 13. Now he looks like a total schmuck. Like, Kyle, did you even try last season? What a loser... YIIIIIIKES. Joe has Odell and Adams, took Jacobs in the fist, has Kittle, and also can choose from Cook, Mixon, Duke, Guice, and Jacobs. Joe has strange Cleveland Browns vibes here. JoeDell Beckham they'll call him. Contender for the title. Pre-season co-favorite (double hyphens : score!)

Nolando Calrissian: Along with Joe, the second preseason cofavorite (no hyphens) I think Evans, Hopkins, Fournette, Watson, and Kamara will all finish top 5 at their positions if they are healthy the whole year. Locked up the TB backfield, and between Robbie Anderson, and DJ Moore, he should have solid flex options. Careful, we have all ridden the Robbie Anderson roller coaster... get off right before he breaks your heart.

Micah: First off : Sling Blade is a great team name. Jealous about that... Micah will have his season be dependent on Damien Williams of the Kansas City Chiefs. If he is good, Micah will be a playoff team. Golladay, David Johnson, Enghram, and Diggs will carry the team. Micah has a deep bench with alot of running back talent, so this team will be consistent all year and should do well during bye week stretches.

'Laus: Nick had one of the value picks of the draft in Dede Westbrook. Think he could have a huge season. He took a TE from Iowa who played DB in highschool, which is terrifying if you think about it. TJ Hockenson is 6'5 247. He went to a school with about 90 kids a grade in southern Iowa. Imagine being a poor farm kid running a slant across the middle and this guy just knocks your block off... Zeke is back, and he is hungry... if Kerryon and MVS make a leap, we could be talking playoffs.

Tidwell: Bell and Barkley (The Killer B's) are the best RB group in the league, and is good for 45 points a week most weeks. If Antonio Brown is himself, then he will have Barkley, and the two best fantasy players at their position for the last 5 years. High risk high reward there. (Editors Note : 1PM 9/5/19 -> Antoino Brown got into a fight with Mike Mayock and it looks like they are going to cut him maybe) Antonio Brown looks like he has a light case of CTE based on Hard Knocks, so let's hope this works out. Knock on wood if your with me.... His WR depth is solid, and should be able to pick two out of Alshon, Allen Robinson, Larry Fitz, Manny Sanders and Shepard and get enough points from his studs to win most weeks. Zach Ertz too.

Peter: He has Tyreek Hill and Josh Gordon as his starting WRs.... There is a joke there, but I just can't quite place it. Marlon Mack is good, and if Gordon comes back, his RBs will be formidable. I love that he has a player named Justice. Travis Kelce would have been a top 10 WR the last two seasons, so that is pretty good too. His kicker's first name is Ka'imi, which is Hawaiian for "The Seeker". That is the honest to God truth, I did not make that up. Peter - Nice.

JB: Eckler and McCaffrey are gonna catch a combined 15 balls a week for this guy. Deciding between Cam and Brees each week would be infuriating, but maybe that's what gets JB going, ya know? That's what makes him tick... Michael Thomas is a beast, and it's always a cool feeling getting double points having a WR and QB connect. He also is putting a lot in the Ravens - with Inghram, and both of their rookie receivers, who have a QB who can't throw.

5 Picks of the draft I like: Michael Gallup, Dede Westbrook, AJ Green, Devin Singletary, Lesean McCoy.

Give me Pats, Texans, Steelers, Chiefs, Browns, Broncos in the AFC and Cowboys, Seahawks, Falcons, Bears, Packers, Saints in the NFC.

Give me Joe, Nolan, Jordan, George, Tidwell, and Micah for PHB playoffs

Week one - give me Mike, Beej, Joe, Jordan, Nick, and Nolan for the winners. Give me Nolan for the three points.

Good luck to all this season.