Hoff's Hot Takes Playoff Preview!

12/02/2019

Hello and welcome to the Hoff's Hot Takes Playoff Preview.  What a wild regular season we had this year.  A year full of a lot of competitive teams, with 75% of the league hopeful for the playoffs at the beginning of week 13.  This week's takes are sponsored by Lakefront Lager, Northshore Health Systems, and Disney+.  This will treat as a regular season recap, as well as a round 1 playoff preview!  Have a day off here, so I am sitting in Whole Foods writing this.  Listening to Bruce Springsteen and texting people for quotes, ya know, real Big J Journalist stuff.  

Congrats to Nolan and JB for earning the top two seeds in the playoffs.  WIth the playoffs set, JB and Nolan have byes, Joe plays Jordan, and George will be going against Kyle.  Congrats to all teams involved.  

* Five Highest Scores This Season

1) George. Week 5 - 184.8

2) Jordan. Week 3 - 174.2

3) Micah. Week 8 - 172.8

4) Tidwell. Week 1 - 169.8

5) Nolan. Week 8 -169.8 

* Five Lowest Scores This Season

1) Peter. Week 10 - 48.6

2) Peter. Week 12 - 52.1

3) Jordan. Week 12 -53.1

4) George. Week 12 - 54

5) Nick. Week 5 - 60.4

* Random fun with stats : Lamar Jackson basically just had a season where he was Phillip Rivers throwing and Phillip Lindsey on the ground put together...If you took all of Christian McCaffrey's receiving points out he would still be RB 4... The gap between McCaffrey (#1) and Dalvin Cook (#2) is the same gap as Dalvin Cook (#2) and Leveon Bell (#12)....Average score this season was 109.96, so anything over 110 points is considered a good week...

* Looking Back at the Draft -> Kyle picked Lamar Jackson in the 7th rd, meaning he will be able to keep him next year for a 5, keeping Kyle in the mix...With TE a dumpster fire, George picking Austin Hooper in the 13th was clutch...Joe taking Josh Jacobs was the right call, jury is still out on Montgomery for Jordan, but value is there, but Devin Singletary in the 12th may be great for Jordan though...Shame Nolan is stacked with keepers, cause Micahel Gallup and Ronald Jones would be solid, but should provide trade bait...Nick having DK Metcalf in the 9th in perpetuity should be solid for his squad...Micah has to be steamed that he picked AJ Green in the 6th and he never suited up.  If Micah chooses a better guy there, does he sneak in over George?....Joe picking Cortland Sutton in the 8th was a solid move, and Joe is set for next year too...

* This season confirms that Beej is the unluckiest guy in fantasy football.  From 2013-2019, here is where Beej ranks in facing the most points, in chronological order from 2013-2019 ::1,1,1,7,1,3,1.  Sorry bro.  Keep on dancing.

Shout out to Jennie and Jim for liking the pic
Shout out to Jennie and Jim for liking the pic

This week, we have had a few members of the league submit questions to Jordan to answer.  Without further ado, here are your questions, and my answers.

Question: What is the best fast food chain?

Jordan: Hmmm... Taco Bell? I would think Taco Bell is my favorite... Wendy's is pretty tasty, but the fries kind of hold it back. So Taco Bell is the favorite, but I think Chic Fil A is the best. Service is phenomenal, and waffle fries are tasty, and Chic Fil A sauce is divine. Answer is Chic Fil A... now In and Out Burger is tasty too, and would be my number one answer, but I feel I have only had it like 5 times so I am not gonna count it.

Question: Given that your lovely mother and father named you after Michael Jordan, if that name were not available, who would be your next three picks if you wanted to be named after a basketball player

Jordan: Dominique Wilkins. Nique Hoffmann would be cool I suppose. Shaq Hoffmann. Kobe Hoffmann.

Question: Who most and least deserves to win the league this year and why?

Jordan: "Deserves" in the complicated word here. I will 100% say that JB is the one that deserves it the least. He drafted well, kept some good guys, made some moves so technically he does deserve it, but he has won 3 times already so let us give it to somebody else. I would say Tidwell cause he hasn't made a trade in two years and is competitive, or Mike cause he is due as well. Of the playoff teams, lets go George. He has not won yet, and been close a few times. Jorge it is.

Question: Would you rather eat a cake and sit on a dick, or eat a dick and sit on a cake?

Answer: Eat a dick, sit on a cake. Unless, its a pineapple upside down cake, I feel the brown sugar and stickiness would leave a rash.

Question: You are going to the electric chair tomorrow to be put to death. You get four beers to drink the night before, what 4 beers do you choose?

Jordan: One would be a Noon Whistle Gummy Vortex NE IPA. Noon Whistle and Hop Butcher make the best IPA in the city, and possibly my favorite I've ever had so we gotta start there. I would like a Yeti by Great Divide. Big and boozy, one of the first beers like this I had. Tried it like 8 years ago and had 4 on the golf course at Patrick Lehman's bachelor party. Did not know it was a 10% beer. I would have a Sunset Wheat by Linie's. Reminds me of college grilling before the bars, or tailgating at Miller Park. For the fourth, I would shotgun a Miller High Life and flip the switch.

Question: Rank these Cubs teams - 1998,2003,2008,2016

Jordan: The 2016 team winning will be something that nobody will forget It legit is was a life changing day for millions of people. That day and the following weekend is some of the coolest stuff ever... 2003 was fun, but ultimately a tragedy that not even the Greeks could have penned. That squad was good, just was not meant to be. The 1998 team was one of the first non Bulls teams I remember being into, especially Rod Beck, which should have been a red flag for my Tod. Cubs killed it that year, won in a one game playoff, and then got Buzzsawed by the Braves starters. Glavine, Maddux, and Smoltz threw 21.2 innings, and gave up 4 total runs on only 10 hits, 18 k's and 1 walk, winning the series 3-0. 2008 was just sad and such bullshit so I wont talk about it.

The guy on the right is like the best pitcher ever.
The guy on the right is like the best pitcher ever.

Question: Favorite song by Dave Matthews and Sublime?

Jordan: Crush or Trippin Billies for DMB, and Doin' Time or Don't Push for Sublime.  Both bands I think I listened too way too much too in high school, so I really do not have favorites with theses two, but that's the best I could do.

Question: If you had to be stuck on a deserted island with one 1980's professional athlete, who would it be and why?

Jordan: This was a hard one. My initial thought was Moses Malone or Kurt Rambis. If this island is really bare bones, we could use their rec specs to use the sun to start a fire. Maybe Magic Johnson or Jim McMahon. They have stories that I am assuming are insane and would pass the time.

 Final Consistency Ranks

 *Notes from the Consistency Ranks: JB finished 1st or 2nd in points 6 of the 13 weeks...Joe finished between 6th and 3rd in 9 of 13 weeks, and is the only team not to finish in the bottom three of a week...Peter finished in the bottom three 11 of 13 weeks... Micah would have finished 7-4 or 4-7 against the league half of the time, only finished below 8th twice... Jordan finished 2nd to last or first 8 of 13 weeks... Nick got a points point only twice this season... Beej finishing last was the second most common result this season...Mike got a points point in the first five weeks, but only twice in the last 8 weeks...Tidwell did not score in the top half of a week without Saquon Barkley...Nolan got a points point every week but one after week 6...Kyle got the last points point in the first three weeks, wonder what would have been with a few less points...George only scored one point in the last five weeks.

Playoff Round 1 Preview!

Joe (4) vs. Jordan (5) - If Joe and Jordan played every week, Jordan would be 7-6 against Joe.  Joe outscored Jordan by about 4 points per week on average.  Joe enters the playoffs riding high, and Jordan enters the playoffs on a downswing. Jordan got three points three times, in the other 10 weeks, Jordan only got 8 points. Jordan is setting up for a loss in this game.  Pats D/ST is not the juggernaut it once was, and they face Mahomes and the Chiefs.  Julio is banged up, so is JuJu.  Montgomery has the Cowboys on Thursday, so he is in trouble.  As of Thursday at Noon, and according to ESPN.com, Joe has a 55% chance of winning this matchup.  I think that is good analysis.  Joe is due for a stinker, and likewise, Jordan is set for a big day, but Jordan's team can not be trusted. Jacobs, Beckham, and Kittle are all banged up, however, I see Joe pulling this game out by a handful of points

Kyle (3) vs. George (6) - If Kyle and George played every week, George would be 7-6, however, Kyle would be 6-1 against George in his last 7.  Kyle outscored George by about 2-3 points per week. Similar to the other game, Kyle and Lamar are on the rise, and George is on the downswing.  ESPN gives George a 54% chance to win this game. Kyle has Derrick Henry, James Connor, and Jarvis Landry all questionable against George who has a team who is finally getting healthy. Kyle is starting Tarik Cohen and Darius Slayton, but Lamar can win him any week.  Again, I See a close game, but George should pull this one out by 10-15.

Consolation Bracket chatter-  Micah plays Mike,  Beej plays Tidwell, and Peter plays Nick.  The Mike and Micah game should be good.  I honestly do not know why we dont structure the consolation bracket playoffs like the regular playoffs.  Why the two best teams play each other right away and dont get a bye is pretty dumb to me. JB, lets look into changing this for the next season.  Give me Mike, Beej, and Nick...

New Segment this week on Hoff's Hot Takes : Commish's Corner.  Here are some thoughts from JB - "This year was a good year for parity, but who knows if this is random or not... George seems to be getting healthy at the right time, and Hooper coming back should be good for him... I think it is time for a marginal price increase next year.  I think it has been 5 years since the last increase.  We can use the money to reallocate some winnings, and give some cash to the King of the Hill winner...Maybe it is time to replace kicker and defense and choose head coach scoring...Peter's 1,101 points this season were the 3rd least in a season in our ten year history, but Peter could have three first round draft picks next year if I win the draft."

Final Regular Season Standings : John Nolan Kyle Joe Jordan George Micah Mike Tidwell BJ Nick Peter.

King of the Hill Champion : Joe

Bye Week and $50  - JB and Nolan ( Also,  just wanted to say Thanks to Nolan for helping execute the first triple tasty in our recorded history.  We executed it flawlessly with Beej, but unfortunately, BJ does not remember this happening)

Thanks for reading.  Love you all.



Hoff's Hot Takes (TM)
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